How do you define your femme identity?
It’s a constant evolution…a process that is never really complete. It’s the dynamic nature of identity that captivates me, the fact that it can shift from day-to-day, hour to hour, outfit to outfit, mood to mood. I don’t feel defined by my identity. I feel courted by it, teased, befriended by it, but never defined by it.
How do other identities you have not only intersect with femme but also contradict it?
My whole person is about contradiction, which is a difficult lesson to learn, and an even harder lesson to live. You quickly realize that when you are a person prone to extremes in emotion and lifestyle. One of the greatest lessons I am currently learning is how to be both extremes at once, and how to co-exist with that contradiction. Because I think that conflict is what is so captivating about people, the struggle to accept that about oneself rather than be hammered into a neater, cleaner package.
What are some joys of being femme?
The observational perspective of being occasionally invisible. I like to watch people. A ridiculous budget for make-up. Stilettos. Expanding people’s understanding of what being queer looks like. Playing dress-up. Fierceness. The unyielding strength of years of hard-fought battles. The gorgeous history. The feeling of finding someone who truly appreciates the trappings of being femme. Sexy lingerie. Making people turn their heads. Power.
What role does writing play in community-building for you?
Writing is my most heartfelt connection with the world. It’s how I reach out, how I say the things I am afraid to say, how I tell the truth. My only hope in all of my writing is that sometimes I say the things that other people want to say, but can’t. That they see themselves in what I am saying and are reminded that, despite all of our possible differences, we are all so much the same. And that is what unites us, makes us all a part of the global community of humanity.
How does it feel to be part of the Femmethologies?
Like an honor and a blessing. So many incredible, inspirational writers, and I am proud to be a part of it.
Femme is _____ (one word only, please).